Memento Mori – the art of life and death

The busy rhythm of modern life sets a fast pace of thinking. Thoughts rush from the past to the future and back again, giving rise to many worries. Worries and desires make us forget – every day brings us closer to death. Each breath brings one closer to the mark beyond which there is no possibility of realising plans and all achievements and merits will become insignificant. Death crosses out fears, desires, regrets and dreams. But by failing to remember death, we risk missing out on life. Against the background of these reflections, a few questions should be raised: why should we constantly remember death and what is the meaning of this expression?

Memento Mori: what does it mean to remember death?

To remember death (Memento Mori) means to constantly relate decisions, habits and beliefs to the realisation of the finitude of life.

Remembering death means realising – many of our labours will disappear without a trace. The most important things will become irrelevant tomorrow or turn to dust and will be forgotten. This is true of most things: relationships, achievements, failures, honours, successes and failures. Very little will remain and will be valuable after death. Only good deeds and mistakes will remain with a person. Love and hatred.

Thoughts of death – meaninglessness and liberation

The thought of mortality often causes dread and a sense of stupor. Everything we worry about will be erased and forgotten after a brief interval. In the background of these reflections, everything may seem meaningless. Labour and every prospect may seem a useless waste of effort, but it is not. The finitude of life need not cause apathy and forgetfulness of our aspirations. For death not only deprives but also liberates.

Death not only interrupts life and strips away all the fruits of labour, but it also nullifies experience, liberates us from failure, doubt and fear. It does this before its coming. We are freed from the feeling of an eternity of potential failures when we realise the finitude of existence. Fear of failure looms constantly because of the fear of long-term consequences. But the thought of death takes away the worries – not only victories are temporary, but defeats as well.

No one keeps the memory of someone else’s shame or triumph in their lifetime. No one keeps a memory of you after death.

What is the right way to think about death?

The thought of the finitude of life should not bring anxiety, longing or apathy. Yes, everything is temporary. That’s the way nature works. A sprout breaks through the ground, becomes a sturdy tree, reaches a peak, and then begins to slowly fade away. Day turns to night and then a new day begins. Life is born in one place and ends in another. We should not be embarrassed by the realisation of the temporality of our existence.

This realisation frees us from doubt, gives us foreseeable boundaries for planning and instils the possibility of choosing to live life as we wish to live it. It is wrong to think of death as an impending end that will erase everything, because it only causes horror. Death is as natural as birth, growing up, maturity and aging. It will come inevitably. It is in our power to make sure that we meet it with a sense of accomplishment. And a sigh of relief that we have lived our lives with dignity.

To think correctly about death is to accept its inevitability, to realise the value of time and to free ourselves from unnecessary goals, resentments and hatred. Healthy detachment and calmness, freedom of action and absence of contradictions come to the mind of one who remembers death. Correct reflection on death leads to a rich and vivid life.

The consequence of thinking about death is a reassessment of goals

The consequence of this realisation is a sober understanding of life, possibilities and the value of time. From the right perspective of remembering death, we deprive ourselves of the need to realise that it is impossible to achieve anything. It is not the fact of achieving something that becomes so important to us, but the feeling of moving towards the goal. Obsession with goals indicates a lack of fundamental understanding of mortality, but our movement toward goals defines our lives.

Everyone knows what they want but are afraid to admit it to themselves. Achieving foreseeable goals will not bring happiness on its own. Happiness comes from engaging the inner nature in doing things that contribute to the achievement of goals. We prove ourselves in some field, do important and useful things. This is how the satisfaction of labour arises. The goal becomes secondary.

Goals are always built ambitious, ideal, inspiring. We want to reach the height of the goals and remain king of the mountain forever. But happiness is not about possessing something, it is about conforming in deed to what we are. The thought of death frees us from contrived, imposed and foolish goals. Money, power, authority, might. All of these may be tools in the hands of the realiser, but they are not the goal.

Why is it necessary to always be mindful of death?

The Latin phrase indicates the need to be constantly mindful of one’s imminent demise. But why?

Only by remembering death can one make a sober assessment of the rightness of one’s actions and stick to the right path without being distracted by careless idleness and petty feelings. The ability to keep the thought of death in one’s mind enables one to achieve several goals vital to the attainment of happiness:

• Avoid unnecessary worry and tension;
• Experience fewer negative emotions;
• Avoid painful attachments;
• Discard meaningless activities;
• Discard habitual stereotypes of right and wrong.

Avoid unnecessary worry and tension

Against the background of death, many difficulties and problems become insignificant and therefore solvable. In most cases, people experience tension not from the problems themselves, but from the perception that there is a problem. Often it takes much less effort to solve it than is imagined. By contemplating death, one is stripped of these worries and becomes free of mental obstacles.

To experience less negative emotions

On the background of death, offences, quarrels and claims lose their significance. We begin to appreciate close people more. There are fewer demands on unfamiliar people. Superfluous contacts become insignificant. Anger, apathy, vindictiveness – everything becomes meaningless against the background of perishability. All we have to do is to act and live a virtuous life.

Avoid painful attachments

Without remembering the frailty of material things, we attach too much importance to attachments, which leads to addiction. Strong attachment makes both the attachee and the object of attachment suffer. Death, as the ultimate manifestation of temporality, indicates the meaninglessness of painful attachment. Healthy attachment to loved ones persists, and we show our willingness to care and sacrifice for them with even greater strength.

Discourage meaningless pursuits

Preoccupation with meaningless pursuits indicates a lack of attention to the shortening of life with each passing moment. We refuse to occupy ourselves with negative thoughts and indulge in empty pursuits. These activities are pleasurable but make life meaningless, unaware and idle. Happiness is achieved by making sense of life, and such activities bring us closer to oblivion, lack of control over thoughts and life in general.

Abandon habitual stereotypes about right and wrong

Society fosters in people the desire for wealth, fame, respect, prestige, superiority and other unimportant things. We never think about the question – do we need it? First the minimum is achieved, for example – money is needed for survival. Then the funds serve to increase the standard of living and savings. When money becomes enough, life becomes a passing of time in pursuit of comfort and pleasures. Food tastes better, bed is softer, gadgets are more expensive. All these things have no true value or meaning, but are coveted because of a lack of understanding of true values.

By thinking about death, we gain the ability to focus life on the truly important things and relationships, and to look adequately at decision making and planning. This is often what is lacking to achieve a happy life.

To forget about death is to lose sight of life. When do people forget about death?

Like all material things, the ability to remember death is also temporary and must be maintained. The thought of death will displace itself and here’s why:

• Reflecting on death – drawing the right conclusions and gaining a new tool to solve problems;
• Getting rid of suffering, getting inspiration and getting rid of obstacles;
• Achieve success and peace, life becomes brighter, happiness appears in us;
• We get euphoria, attachment to success, want to get more;
• We forget about temporality, get involved in the pursuit of scaling goals, lose true reference points.

Memento mori ceases, old problems begin. Memento mori loses relevance when satisfaction from the process is replaced by satisfaction with the fruits of labour: money, performance, respect and so on. It should not be forgotten that life is not a set of achievements, but a constant process. A person is not a set of victories and defeats, and life is not determined by the “output” from all the cases. Still, we are not racing cars and this should not be forgotten.

The fruitfulness of life will be available with the realisation of its finitude. Do not forget death and night will not come suddenly.